Why Beauty?

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Those of you who have been following Quotation Marks from the very beginning know that this is a blog full of lots and lots of quotes.  I love words. I have so much fun finding quotes for script scarves.  All my favorite authors are currently sitting in my Etsy shop the way they sit on my stained wood bookshelves.  But recently, you may have noticed more posts about beauty and fashion. I wanted to use this blog post to answer the questions: why beauty?

For a lot of my life, I was asking myself the wrong question- “Am I beautiful?” I asked this question while looking at other people.  I asked it while comparing myself to them.  I asked it while watching them look at me, trying my hardest to see through their eyes, so that they could answer my question for me.

The theory that I use to explain my thoughts on beauty is Cooley’s Looking Glass self.  To generalize, it states that:

1. We see other people watching us.

2. We decide what they are looking at and how they judge us.

3.  We make a value judgement about ourselves based on how we think they are looking at us.

Number 3 is the scariest for me.  It says that we decide, in essence, whether we are a good or bad person based on how we think other people look at us!  According to this theory, we do this all the time.  Everything we do, we are looking around, trying to figure out what other people think and how they are perceiving us.  This theory is aptly named the Looking Glass Self.  It basically states that everyone is standing around us, holding mirrors, and we are looking into them to figure out who we are.  We can’t help but behave in response to how we think others are judging us. Or so this theory says.

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This is so easy to do in the blog world. Bloggers are putting our lives out there to be judged, and it would be really easy to base our identity on the feedback that we are receiving.  Many women spend their whole lives asking everyone “Am I beautiful?” which essentially boils down to, “Am I a good person?” Sometimes a blog is just another platform for them to ask that question to an even wider audience.

But I want you to know that that is no longer an important question in my life.  I don’t want to use the opinions of others to try to figure out what I look like.  Nowadays, my question is not “Am I beautiful?”, it is “Am I healthy?”  Do I think about my face, my body, and my person in a healthy way? Do I realize that what I wear and what I weigh have nothing to do with whether I am a good or bad person?  

As you probably realize, everyone’s idea of healthy is going to look different! I know some women that feel most healthy when they dress simply and don’t wear makeup.  I know that it’s unhealthy for me to look at fitness blogs for a long time, but for others, it might be motivational and helpful. While for me, browsing beauty and fashion blogs is a freeing experience, for others, it might be a very unhealthy one.  We all have different pathways to a healthy image of our body.

I do not blog about beauty and fashion because I am shallow, or because those are my top priorities.  I blog about beauty and fashion because the more and more I let go of caring what other people think, the more I have enjoyed finding my own sense of style and sharing it with YOU!

What do you find is most helpful for you to have healthy body image?  What kind of blogs do you like the most? What kinds of blogs are the most unhealthy?

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I am so excited to join Anne the Adventurer’s Love Yourself link up today.  Anne is one of those bloggers that I count as a real friend.  Head over to blog, you will not regret reading her insightful, thoughtful, and relatable posts.

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13 comments on “Why Beauty?
  1. […] Why Beauty? (quotationmarksetsy.com) […]

  2. I enjoyed reading this and put a link at it at my latest blog post (beautiful place & second date). It’s not relating to each other, but I wanted to share 🙂

    Thanks!

  3. Thanks for sharing! Loved reading this!

  4. Tiffany Dawn says:

    I love this. I too had to find a deep, intrinsic sense of worth instead of basing my worth off what people thought of me. For a long time that was all about beauty, but now it’s knowing I’m unconditionally loved.

  5. Farrell – Thanks so much for this beautiful post. It is so insightful. I make judgments about my perceptions of the way other people see me all. the. time. And it is exhausting! I’m so glad to know you and to count you as a friend! Can’t wait to keep working on the linkups together.

    • abelovedone says:

      Thanks for the comment, Anne! It is definitely exhausting trying to keep up with everyones perceptions, and such a relief to try to learn how to let it all go. I’m so excited about this community you’ve created!

  6. Hey Farrell, Stopping by from Anne’s Love Yourself Link-Up and I’m so glad I did. I have actually seen your beautiful scarves on Etsy before, and I love being able to see the artist and mission behind them here! I love the way you’ve reframed your question of yourself from ‘Am I beautiful?’ to ‘Am I healthy?’ There is such a huge difference between those questions, and I’m constantly trying to ask myself questions more like your second one these days. It’s challenging! Thanks for your post, and I’m excited to stop by again next week!

    • abelovedone says:

      Hi, thanks for stopping by! I’ve loved sharing this post so that people can get to know the face behind the etsy store a little bit better. You’re right that the second question is challenging- it’s something I have to daily ask myself intentionally! I look forward to sharing our posts with each other again next week!

      Farrell

      P.S. Your other comment is all set 🙂

  7. Rhonda Shannon says:

    Daddy and Beth and Bill think your beauty is from the Shannons but I grew you and know better. God placed an inner beauty in you before you were born. Pretty on the inside is what we all hope for. Knowing who we are and being comfortable in our own skin. Farrell, Your skin is pretty but your heart is beautiful. Love, Mum

    Sent from my iPad

    • abelovedone says:

      Thanks Mum, you’re the one who taught me how to think this way, and that “God loves me, you love me, and I’m a very special girl.” ❤

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